So I logged into this website and I was like, woah, I remember this. So I guess I should post on here sometime, maybe. Until then, all Mere contributors who make snide comments about my absence will be instantly attacked by a gang of rapid wallabys, bound with habanero-pepper infused rope, and thrown onto a ship headed for Antarctica where their sole allowed activity will be to read bad poetry whilst listening to Nickelback and eating Lembas bread. (apparently it doesn’t taste very good, except to Samwise Gamgee, who said he thought that “elvish stuff” is “not bad.”)
That is all.
-Riley
Consider this a snide comment about your absence.
Hm. I don’t think those curses are allowed to happen until you post legit and prove those snide remarks as false. They still hold, more or less.
Also, Those rabid wallabys haven’t ever had to encounter my machete before. They might find themselves overmatched. And as to habanero, I mean, come-on, i put peppper spray on my food because nothing else is spicy enough. Antarctica? Definitely not a problem. I’ve already got ice in my veins, so what’s a little ice on my skin gonna do to me.
Whatever you do, though, PLEASE don’t make me read Walt Whitman. I just might die.
It’s a good thing I’m not a contributor because I don’t think I could handle listening to Nickelback…. I’d rather let the wallabys eat me.