[Note to the reader: in defiance of the established practice of reading (modern) poetry by stopping at the punctuation and ignoring the line breaks for the most part, this poem is written with stops at every line, regardless of the punctuation. This nuance affects the meaning and flow and feel of the poem, so yes, it does matter how you read it. Thanks for your cooperation, and I hope you enjoy it.]

Oh, God,
So many thoughts swirling around in my head
I can’t get any rest.
Every time I close my eyes,
Every time I try to think, or pause
I get flung off the merry-go-round to a new set of tracks,
Short little trains of disconnected thoughts.

It’s like a rapid-fire see-saw:
Up and Down; There and Back; Again
and Again. Where do I get off
This treadmill I’ve been running on for hours?
A six-minute pace, but no distance at all
To show for my “work” to make it seem worth-
While. An endless, vicious cycle–
like night and day (more like predator and prey)
–perpetuates itself with brutal, deafening efficiency.
It’s so fast, so loud, I can’t hear myself think–
Oh, God!
Where is the calm in the storm, the gentle whisper
Of promises kept and every need met?
I need some peace right now. Frantically
Waiting for, willing the tumult to desist,
But the waves don’t heed; my command
Lost in the dissonant roar.

I’ve heard that one time You
Were asleep in the midst of the raging tempest;
Annoyed–woken by silly, distracted disciples
Like me–You just spoke, but the storm obediently subsided,
Sheepishly rebuked, tail between it’s legs, eyes to the ground
–Oh, God!
Would you speak right now?
If you don’t I’ll drown
Or at least collapse in a heap from the panic;
The waves they just don’t listen to me
But I know they’ll heed their King.

So God, my God, would you speak again
that powerful word:
Peace.

For even in my failures
When I turn to gratify my flesh
I simply still am only yours
And my thirsty soul you quench.

Though I all too often look back into death
For life, ironically, to find within
Your common grace is here to bring me comfort
Your sacrifice to bleach the stains of sin.

For just as there are warm reminders
of summer in the dead of winter
You show deep mercy, grace, and love
In the darker hours to this sinner.

Amen.

You have saved me from the pit of despair
Now save me from myself

I am the hindrance
I am the sin that clings closely
I am the weight that pulls me down

I am Little-faith
I am the heart prone to wander
I am the obstacle

You are my Savior
You are the one who works in me
You are the founder and finisher of faith

You are my Redeemer
You are the King who died for me
You are my hero

So fight for me and give me victory
Over myself