Mere Reflections

I seem to be especially pitchy on this recording. But it’s probably because the key I like playing it in is slightly too high for me to sing. Anyways, take a listen, if you like. And if you can judge it on the songwriting, not the performance, that would be cool. Lyrics below.

This evening I’ve been hit with a feeling
I’m not sure I like
And it’s leaving, leaving me weak
From the bleeding inside
But this feeling ain’t all bad ’cause it’s bringing
A change in my life
And the stinging is almost relief
‘Cause it’s healing up right

It’s the bittersweet pain of humility learned
When my self-esteem’s bane brings me down to the dirt
But the sharp pruning shears spare the harvester’s axe
And the crucible’s flames save from burning at last
(So thank you for the pain)

I’m losing all my rights to assuming
I’m doing just fine
I was fooling, fooling myself
And excusing my pride
Now You are removing all the thoughts I had of choosing
What I did and didn’t do with my life
Now Your love’s abusing all the sin that had been ruining
Every good thing that I’d tried

God, You are destroying all my arrogance and foiling
The confidence I put in myself
Like a snake You’re coiling I know there’s no avoiding
That you’ll choke out the flesh before it chokes out my joy

Well, I got a camera recently that takes HD video, and the sound is pretty decent quality too, so I decided to maybe start posting an occasional video to break the monotony of plain text from musings and quotes an such. Whether I do this with any consistency or not is yet to be seen. Mostly I’ll probably post songs through this medium, since it’s much less work than trying to record and edit demos in ProTools. However, this means that all the songs you hear will be complete with voice cracks and pitchy-ness and wrong chords/notes. So give me some slack when you listen to it. Anyways, here it is.

Either that or I’m a terrible person. Please enjoy this video of a digital bible in the era of dot-matrix printing. (Also, I promise this isn’t fake.)

Btw… I forgot to sing the third verse… haha.

I don’t wanna go back but at the same time I do
I invest in lies but want to withdraw the truth
Give me one day one ticket one way back to you
‘Cause it’s the last few moments that we regret
And the second hand chases away things that we’ve said
And you’re left with the loud sound of silence in your head

Oh, I’m a bird that swims, I’m a fish that flies
I’m the very thing that I despise
A streak of grey in a greater light
The sun is setting on the current age but I can’t seem to turn the page
‘Cause it’s never “I’ll move on” but instead “I don’t know” is what I say

Can’t keep going I’m far off track
‘Cause I can’t bear to look forward, can’t bear to look back
Can’t move on I’m far behind because I can’t make up my mind

This life is a life of indecision… or isn’t it?
I run from a place and the next day I want to revisit it
So for a while I’ll be the one quite easy to find
‘Cause I’ll be waiting at the crossroads just trying to decide

third verse I forgot:
The door is open but I won’t go through
I debate it in my head but I know it’s the truth
That simply I don’t know what to do
There’s a perfect balance in between accepting change and the old routine
But how can I accept something when I’m too busy overthinking

And when I try to think of a way outside
Nothing comes to mind except for what You provide
Because You see all of me and who I’ll be
So help me to decide

Listen to the original, albeit 8th grade, full band version here.

Praise God for sanctification and maturity! Praise God that in my weakness and indecisiveness, He is still LORD! May I continually be humbled to submission to Christ and submission to the fact that I have so much more to learn and so much farther to go to be like Jesus.

On Christ the solid rock we stand.

-Riley

-Riley